The paradoxical complexities of love, in song form.

Those of you who know me even a little bit know that I am obsessed with music, and it's usually for the sake of the lyrics. Still, there has to be a delicate balance between the words and what the music sounds like. For me, even if it's the most eloquent prose ever written, if you pair it to some bullshit screaming, hard-core heavy metal soundtrack, I will be severely turned off. I will also probably try to hunt you down and punch you in the throat for ruining something so beautiful.
 
Song lyrics, quotes, and poems are primarily, for me, about expression. They're about emotion, a way to say things that you haven't figured out how to say on your own. My life has always been amplified by a self-chosen soundtrack. During the summer, it's all carefree sunshine with Phil Vassar's "Six Pack Summer" and Kenny Chesney's "Summertime", and anything and everything else country that I can get my hands on. During the winter, there's always a sort of heartache in the constant lack of light, so I tend to favor anything from Sara Bareilles. That woman knows the hell out of her unrequited love. Through a breakup, Bob Dylan's "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" and Fiona Apple's "Get Gone" are staples. And through the year, I keep myself company with my favorite Broadway shows, belting the hell out of them in my car everywhere I go.

But mostly, I love any song that really, truly, and honestly evokes the myriad of emotions brought about by love. Honestly, is there any pain in life more exquisitely paradoxical than heartache?  Is there anything that has the power to hurt, and to heal, as much as love? I could explore this subject, from every angle, every day for the rest of my existence, and I wouldn't even begin to touch the surface of the depths of its complexity. But, every one once in a while, I feel like some songwriter, at some moment in time, really connects with a small piece of that complexity, and those words become the lyrics to some of the most beautiful songs of all. The people who wrote the songs below seem to be two of those chosen few, and I can't stop listening to their brilliance.

I am not in love right now, but I have been before, and I can't wait to be again. And in the meantime, I will always be in love with the idea of love, and just how wonderfully awful it can be.


Sleeping at Last - Turning Page

Paloma Faith - Just Be

Friday Top 5 - Favorite Things

It's that time again... time for Friday Top 5! I've been really geeking out over a few things lately, and I wanted to share them with you guys, complete with links to each item so you can experience their joy for yourself if you are so inclined. Don't be afraid to click - they'll open in a separate page. And I promise they're not secretly links to porn.

Top 5 Things I'm Geeking Out Over At The Moment

 

5. Big Fish: The Musical
Some of you may remember this phenomenal 2003 Tim Burton movie staring one of my personal favorites, Ewan McGregor. It was definitely an excercise in whimsy, but in the middle of it all were some pretty astute life lessons. Imagine my surprise/excitement/unadulterated glee when I found out that not only had they adapted this movie into musical form; it was also going to be starring Norbert Leo Butz, one of my favorite Broadway actors who originated the role of Jamie in one of my favorite Off-Broadway musicals, The Last Five Years, that I haven't yet had the privilege of seeing perform live. AND, for the cherry of the trifecta, it's going to be doing pre-Broadway previews in Chicago! Be still, my heart. I almost died. Literally. Ok, figuratively. But you get the point. There was a tense moment when they weren't sure they'd be able to find the funding, but it's since been given the green light, and you can bet your sweet ass I will be making the trip down to Chi-town in April to check this baby out before it moves on to the Great White Way. And yes, for the record, I will be stalking NLB at stage door post-performance. Judge away, haters, but you will not steal my joy.

 

 

4. Beats By Dre Powerbeats Headphones
I've gotta be honest; these were a given to be my a friend, and before I tried them, I'm not sure I would have had the courage to drop $150 on a pair of headphones. But, I have seen the light! These babies are insane. They fit super well - and stay - on my ears during workouts, and the sound is incredible; they even handle noise cancellation fairly well, so they're a staple when I travel. I'd love to invest in the Pros, too, but I'm trying to save some cash at the moment. Still, they may be on my birthday wish-list this year.

 

 

 

Yes. Yes, I have.

3. Downton Abbey

I. Love. This. Show. If you're not watching it, shame on you. There is something so absolutely fascinating about this period drama, and it's done to absolute perfection; the scenery, the costumes, the characters, everything. Come and join the movement to Free Mr. Bates (he and Anna are the cutest couple ever), support the communal loathing of Thomas (such an asshole), rejoice in the marriage of Mary and Matthew (finally!), cackle at the sarcastic wit of Maggie Smith as the Countess of Grantham, and pity Sybil with the rest of us. (I mean, seriously, left at the altar by an older, unattractive and handicapped man? I'd want to give up on life, too.) Netflix this shit. Now. 

 



2. Arbonne Pomegranate Fizz Sticks

I'm quickly becoming a huge fan of all things Arbonne. Unfortunately, almost everything they offer is a bit pricey, but you truly do get what you pay for. The one splurge I allow myself, for now, is their Pomegranate Fizz Sticks. These things are gold, people. I drink one every day at that 3 pm slump and not only does it taste good, but the vitamin B kicks me back into gear well into my evening workout. 13 calories, all natural, if gives you energy, and it's delicious? If it were legal, I'd probably marry them. If you want to give them a try, I'm hosting a party next month and I'll hook you up. Trust me, you'll love 'em.

 

 

1. This Toothbrush 

I asked for an electric toothbrush for Christmas, and I was gifted with this baby. Never before have I enjoyed brushing my teeth as much as I do now. This thing is insane. It's got a floss-action brushead, a red indicator light that flashes when you're using too much pressure, and that little thing on the right syncs up wirelessly with the brush to time you as you're brushing; 30 seconds per quadrant of your mouth. I mean, honestly; this thing is hardcore. My teeth are cleaner and whiter than they've ever been before. I'll never be able to use a regular toothbrush again.

 

 

 

 

 

You're welcome for introducing you to some of the coolest things ever. Happy Weekend, friends! 

 

Ginger's 5 Simple Rules of Dating

A friend posted an article this morning on Facebook that I reposted, but just in case you missed it, here's the link: The End of Courtship?

This article summed up almost every frustration I have with dating these days. I feel like it's becoming less and less common for men and women to actually put some effort into developing a relationship with each other. The social media explosion may have made it easier to access others, but, in my opinion, it's made real, honest-to-god communication more difficult than ever. And above and beyond that, when you look at dating sites, the possibilities seem endless, so why settle for just one man or woman when you can date two? Or three? Or four? Why would you want to settle down when there are so many other people out there that you can sleep with get to know? Why should a guy make the effort to call a woman when all he has to do is shoot her a text message in-between video games? And why would you actually try to make concrete plans for a future date and time when you can just shoot a text when you're bored/haven't found anything better to do and see if they're free? What happened to the excitement of a REAL date; the asking, then planning, the preparation, and the anticipation. Isn't that half of the fun? And doesn't the last minute texting make you feel like such an afterthought?

We, as a society, are lazy. We are so fucking lazy. I was just talking to a good friend of mine about this last night, actually. While, as a rule, I personally don't believe in divorce, there are certain situations where I can understand and believe it's warranted, and his situation is one of them. However, I feel like we think that the excitement we feel when we first meet someone - that can't eat, can't sleep, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling - is supposed to last forever. Guess what kids, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn't. In fact, I don't believe that you can really love someone until that phase passes, because during that phase, everything they do is adorable, so you're not really being objective. The problem is, once that phase is over, so many people step back and go, "Wait a minute. What the hell. This is WORK. This isn't just all fun anymore." And what's their solution? They end it, and eventually they meet someone else, and the vicious cycle starts all over again. Or, suddenly, they're alone, and they realize how shitty dating is these days, and how big of a mistake they made, and they try to come crawling back. Either way, this is not the type of man or woman you want in your life. Trust me. I've been there, done that, and it was never worth it.

So, what's the point of this blog, you ask? I don't even really know. Mostly, I just needed to rant to a willing audience. I also wanted to tell you all that wasting your time with men or women who refuse to commit, only make you an option and/or don't put any effort into their relationship with you is just plain stupid. You're worth more than that. So, I have an idea. Let's all stop being assholes. In fact, I'll give you 5 simple rules to follow that will make the dating world a happier place.

Heather's Five Simple Rules of Dating*

*Trademark Pending

1) If you are attracted to someone and you want to date them, tell them, and then make an effort to keep the relationship going. Simple as that. Call them! Buy them flowers! Take them to a movie! Cook them dinner! Make them a fucking mix-tape! I don't care what you do, but an occasional text message/hook-up does not constitute a relationship. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, AND YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT.

2) If you don't like someone who is into you, TELL THEM, but nicely, of course. People are terrified to hurt other people's feelings, and I get that. But trust me, God's honest truth, I would rather have you say the words "I'm sorry, but I'm just not that into you" than get sporadic text messages from you for three months before you drop off the face of the earth and/or start "dating" someone else and I am left analyzing every single conversation we had and trying to figure out where things went wrong.

3) Along the same lines, if you are in a serious relationship and you want out because it is fundamentally flawed, or because you are just not willing to put in the work (shame on you, but high five for being man/woman enough to admit it), then leave. Don't stay because it's convenient. Don't stay because you can't afford your own place and it's a pain in the ass to move. And certainly don't start dating someone else on the side like an asshole. Grow some balls, and as politely and kindly as possible, cut and run.

4) If you are on the receiving end of an unexpected or unwanted breakup, and the person breaking up with you has followed rule #3, then keep your dignity. Refrain from all name-calling and resist the urge to damage their personal property, and perhaps most importantly, don't beg them to stay. You're only making it more difficult for both of you, and why would you want to be with someone who has just told you that they don't want to be with you? Cry all you want, and eat lots of ice cream, but let them go peacefully. You will both be better for it. If they are in direct violation of rule #3 for any reason, then do what you've gotta do, but the end result should be the same... let them go.

5) This is perhaps the most important rule of all. If you just want to get laid, make that clear from the beginning. It is possible for girls and guys to be on the same page here, but you have to know how to walk the line. If someone starts to develop feelings, cut and run. CUT. AND. RUN. This only works if both of you are completely honest, which, really should not be that difficult.

See? It's that simple. I should publish this shit and make millions. Together, we can start a revolution!

I'm going to end this blog with a quote from a movie I watched this weekend that has given me hope in the sometimes hopeless world of dating:

"Maybe a happy ending doesn't include someone. Maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over; freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this; knowing that after all the unreturned calls and broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, and through all the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope." -He's Just Not That Into You

Friday Top 5 - Perverted Pickup Lines

Some of you may have noticed that I've deleted my last blog entry. I decided after posting that I wanted to reflect a little bit more on my romantic past before writing about it and sharing it with the world. That blog post covered a lot, but it left out a lot, too. There will be a subsequent, and much more in depth, post on the same subject sometime in the future. It's something I really want to tackle, not just for your entertainment and reading enjoyment, but also in hopes that it will help me realize and avoid certain behavioral trends on my part. Mainly the most frustrating trend of all; feeling like I have to prove my worth to those selfish assholes who want the best of both worlds.

But I digress.

I've decided to instill a weekly blog update on Friday's called 'Friday Top 5'. Every Friday, I will cover a 'top 5' of mine; anything and everything from celebrity crushes, to most loathed hairstyles, to pet peeves. If you have a top 5 topic you'd like me to tackle, just leave a comment below or shoot me a message on Facebook, and I would be happy to oblige.

Without further ado...

 

Top 5 Perverted Pick-Up Lines That I Have Actually Witnessed Being Used

5. How about you come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Pretty generic, and I've heard it a number of times, mostly in college from guys trying to run game who don't really quite know how. They like to play this one off like they're joking, but most of the time, when they're in their teens/early 20's, they're half-hoping you'll take them up on the offer. Oh, boys, I know you wish it was that easy.

4. Can I touch your belly button fom the inside?
Jimmy Buffet concert, sometime in the early 2000's. I went with a friend and her family, and we weren't 21; normally this wouldn't have been a problem, except for the fact that her family is super strict. So, there I was, one of the only sober people in a sea of Parrotheads. I got up to go to the bathroom at some point during the concert and on my way, a man grabbed me and kissed the shit out of me. I was so surprised, I didn't even pull away. When he was finished, he looked at me and said, "Can I touch your belly button from the inside?" Apparently he wasn't expecting an answer, because by the time I recovered enough to attempt to respond, he had danced away (presumably) to find his next victim. Only at a Jimmy Buffet concert.

3. If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? 
A good friend of mine was the recipient of this one, and I am so glad I was there to witness it. The best part about it was, she had absolutely no idea what was going on. Her response was, "Um, but I have school? I mean I guess you could come to campus, but it'd be easier to just hang out during winter break." Seriously, I died.

2. My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.
I remember this like it was yesterday. Senior year of college. I was out with a group of friends at a bar called Buckhead's; one of the guys I was out with I had a huge crush on, so I was doing what college women normally do in that situation... trying to make him jealous. There was a live band, and I was dancing on and off with a nice-enough guy who got more and more intoxicated as the night went on. His buddies came up to him at some point to tell him they wanted to leave an a-bar (after-bar) at their place. He convinced them to do another round of shots first, which was met with a lot of masculine cheering and grunting. Ever the gentleman, he asked if I wanted to join them for the shot; I declined, since I was right on the edge between "I'll be able to keep my pants on tonight" and "Waking up on the couch at a stranger's house with a dog licking your face and no idea how you got there" and I didn't want to tempt fate. I leaned over to tell him it had been nice meeting him; he met me halfway, and before I could open my mouth, he grinned and said, "My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it," turned, and walked to the bar. I retreated to the bathroom with my girlfriends and regaled them with the story. Apparently we'd taken too long, because the guys I'd been with told me he'd come up to them trying to find me, but had eventually given up. Looking back, I probably should have taken him up on his offer, but my heart was elsewhere at the time, and that's just how it works with me. Still. Pretty epic, right?

And last but most certainly not least,

1. You remind me of a large mouth bass. I don't know whether I should mount you, or eat you.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have actually had this pick-up line used on me. And by a stranger, no less. I'm pretty easy going, so when I heard it, I laughed my ass off, thinking he was just going for shock value. The problem is, he didn't laugh. I made my exit quickly. Still, one of the best "I can't believe he just said that" pick-up lines that I've ever heard.

Happy Weekend, my loves!