FOMO

I became very familiar with the term FOMO, the acronym for Fear Of Missing Out, last year at work. My client at the time had to adhere by incredibly strict FDA regulations, but they also wanted the mobile marketing tour we were developing, one that traveled to music festivals across the country, to allow the consumers inside to enjoy the brand experience without cutting them off from the festival experience happening outside. The resulting idea pitched was from that moment on known as the FOMO wall; a two way glass façade that would allow people inside to see out, but keep anyone outside from seeing in. The client didn’t want to risk the possibility of it failing, exposing us to an FDA nightmare, so the idea was killed, but it’s had me thinking since then; wouldn’t it be awesome if you could always have the best of both worlds?

So much of our current culture overall seems to be based on FOMO. We want to buy everything, do everything, see everything, and we run ourselves ragged to make sure we don’t miss out. But in doing that, do we even really get time to enjoy any of it? I find myself more often than not wishing that I could be in more than one place at a time. I love to stay in and relax at night, but when I do, I think about all the things I could be doing instead, and the subsequent anxiety makes me crabby as hell. (Just ask M.) I used to think of myself as having two places that I call home, but now there’s three; my home in Green Bay, my home in Milwaukee, and my home in Orlando.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I find myself longing to be back in Orlando and working at Walt Disney World. I miss it very tangibly; every time I watch a Disney movie, or see a Facebook post from one of my friends who still works there, or hear about someone I know planning a trip, my chest gets tight and I find myself more than a little homesick. At that point I always stop and think to myself, “well, if that’s how you feel, why don’t you get a job there and move?” And after the fleeting moment of elation that thought inspires, another one pops up just as quickly; I won't. I won’t – not I can’t, but I won’t - because I’ve met the love of my life, and I make a conscious choice, my own choice, every day, to choose love, and a family, over a job. There is happiness, for me, in both choices, but guys like my boyfriend and his son only come along once in a lifetime. I am happy and content with the choice I continue to make…but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could find a way to live in both places at once. I miss being a part of the Disney culture, but I'm happy with the life I've created here, too. 

Since my move to Green Bay, Milwaukee has been added to the list of “places I wish I could live simultaneously”. This one is a bit easier since it’s only 2 hours away from me, and only 1 hour from my office, but all of us adults know how hard adulting can be, and time is one of those things that just seems to slip through our fingers. Trips to Milwaukee tend to be rushed and harried, trying to see everyone I want to see and do everything I want to do, and have begun to feel more like “obligation trips” than trips I enjoy. The funny thing is, I’m the one imposing all those obligations. I know that my friends and family are happy for whatever time I can give them. Just last night I saw that my sister went to see "Wicked" with some friends of hers and I had a FOMO flareup from hell that resulted in the following inner dialogue:

"Dude, if I had been in town, I could have gone with them. But I had a cooking class date night scheduled. But I wouldn't have scheduled it if I knew about Wicked! But they didn't even ask me to go. Yeah, because I'm 2 hours away and it's a weeknight and they knew I couldn't. But I could have! But no, the money, and the time, and I'd have been rushing. But it's Wicked, and it's Broadway, I mean it totally would have been worth it! But.. and... but..." And on it went. 

And don't even get me started on RSVP's. Friends, let me tell you know - event invitations paralyze me, because when there is more than one option, I am terrified of picking the wrong one. Which person will be less pissed at me if I don't come? Which one is more important? Which one do I WANT to attend? I also worry that if I pick one, something insanely awesome will automatically happen at the other, like Tyler shows up and tells everyone he's actually a unicorn and shows everyone his magical rainbow horn, and I'll have missed it, and I can't live with that kind of guilt.

For the record, the cooking class date night I mentioned above was amazing, and involved eating all sorts of delicious new-to-us Indian food as well as some fantastic QT with the man I love. The bottom line, though, and the reason for this blog post, is to remind myself that I CAN'T BE IN MORE THAN ONE PLACE AT ONCE. That will never change (I mean, I guess it could at some point, when all that science stuff makes time traveling possible, but definitely not in our lifetimes) - so why do I keep trying? Why do I keep worrying about it, and stretching myself beyond thin to do it all, and then neglecting to even take a moment to enjoy the present? This is an especially pertinent topic with the holiday coming up. So, I am challenging myself, and you, to try to spend 5 minutes a day living in the moment. 5 minutes people! We can do this! And if you're up for it, make it 10. Or 15. Or an hour. Or hell, if you're some kind of freakazoid genius, A WHOLE DAY. 

Challenge. Accepted.