Confessions of an Egotistical Drama Queen

I'm in a sharing mood today, so I've decided to tell you all some of my secrets; the things about me that make me both crazy and wonderful at the same time.... or so I've been told.

Ok fine, that's just what I tell myself. Potato, po-tah-to.

Let's begin, shall we?

Despite the fact that I'm 29 years old, I still run up the basement steps. Every single time. And while I run, I pray that some murderous creature of darkness won't be able to catch me before I get to the top. I actually got over this for a short period of time, and then I started watching American Horror Story. Totally worth it, though.

When I am eating M&M's, I must eat one of each color in a row, I can't eat more than one color at a time (but two of the same color at once is okay) and the last M&M's left must include one of each color. I have all kinds of ridiculous "rules" like this in regards to the way I eat my food.

The average amount of time that I snooze before actually getting out of bed each morning is 45 minutes to an hour. I am not a morning person.

I'm not a fan of pants. I rarely have them on when my roommate's not around.. and sometimes, I refuse to put them on even when she is. I feel the same way about bras.

My favorite color is red. No, pink. Well, sometimes green, and sometimes blue, and I really like black, too. But mostly red. Or pink.

I have 3 recurring dreams; one involves some fascimile of Hawaii, Orlando, and traveling on planes, and the other two involve alien creatures and the end of the world. If dreams really do come true, I hope it's only the former.

When I'm brushing my teeth, I leave the water running. Shame on me.

My left foot is longer than my right one, but my right eye is bigger than my left one.

I generally get through my workday on a series of bribes. "Ok Heather, if you finish this e-mail, you can get up and go to the bathroom." or "If you make it through this meeting, you can eat your afternoon snack." I like to think that I'm preparing myself to be a successful mother.

I don't iron anything. Ever. The way it comes out of the dryer is the way it's going to be worn. For this reason, I don't own any button-up shirts other than flannel, which I only wear when I'm having one of those "I want to give up on life" days, so I wouldn't bother ironing it anyway.

I. Can't. Stand. Clutter. It makes me honest-to-God angry, to the point where I'll pull out a garbage bag and start throwing shit away just to get rid of it. I usually regret this later when I can't find my iPhone charger/journal/favorite sweatshirt/dog.

I hate cats because my parents took me to see the musical 'Cats' when I was some insane age, like 3, and my interpretation of the show was that there was a crazed, murderous cat named McCavity on the loose killing everyone that he could get his paws on. I'll be damned if I bring one of those creatures into my house. It would be comparable to being a hot blonde in a horror movie and taking a shower. You're just asking for trouble.

I truly believe that the only way to drink chocolate milk is through a straw.

And to top off this incredibly egotistical blog post, I will answer some random questions that I found on the Google machine that I thought may be fun.

1. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
       Yes. Yes I have. I'm sure this surprises no one.

2. What body part do you wash first?
       My face.

3. What's your favorite flavored Pringles?
       Dill Pickle.

4. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?       
       I'll never tell, but for the record, I think about him first thing when I wake up, too.
                                       
5. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel ever again, which would you rather not wash?
        Probably my bath towel, but let me be clear and say that both options are disgusting.

6. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room?
       Not the locker room; the bathroom. 2nd grade. I got in huge trouble. If you can't beat 'em...

7. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar?
      Deep-throated a banana in a bar full of men. It's just a party trick, damnit.

8. Have you ever called your love interest by an ex's name?
      Not to their face, but when talking about them to others, yes. Freudian slip!

9. What is the feature that people compliment you on the most?
       I'm always told I have a beautiful smile.

10. What is your favorite pickup line?
      Did you get those pants on sale? Because at my house, they'd be 100% off.

Ok, so I just want to throw this out there... if anyone has a story to share, or a topic they'd like me to sound off on, I'd be happy to take suggestions. Just leave a comment below, or over on the FB. Happy Friday, friends!