The Inevitable Religious Blog Post

I consider myself a Catholic. I was baptized into the church when I was born, and continued on, with the guidance of my parents, to celebrate my First Communion and First Reconciliation. Then, when I was old enough to make my own choices regarding the church, I chose to be confirmed in the Catholic faith as well. When I get married, it will be in a Catholic church, because anything else just wouldn't feel right to me. I identify with Catholicism as a way of celebrating the gifts that God has given us, and as a model of how to treat others, and even beyond that, going to church and reciting the prayers and participating in the same services that I grew up in is a source of comfort; it's a place, physical and spiritual, to return to that will always be there with open arms, and in today's fast-paced, ever changing world, that's something not always easily found.

Still, I don't go to church every Sunday; I believe gay marriage should be legal; I take the Lord's name in vain more often than I'd like to admit; and sometimes, I even eat meat on Fridays during Lent.

Some might label me a "Smorgasbord Catholic", picking and choosing from the "buffet" of traditions and beliefs of the church, and I suppose they'd be right. But you see, I believe that the fundamental law of any religion is to love, accept, and help one another; to follow the Golden Rule, and to treat others as you would want to be treated. The God that I believe in doesn't shun you for your sexual preference, or for eating meat, or for sleeping in on a Sunday morning. The God that I believe in loves you unconditionally, so long as you always keep Him in your heart, and do your best as a human, and therefore fundamentally flawed, being, to live your life in His image.

I've never witnessed a miracle, or seen an angel, or won the lottery, and despite how much I've prayed for it lately, I haven't received some undeniable sign from my mom that she's up in Heaven, happy and pain-free and watching over me, always. In fact, quite often, when I pray, I feel a disconnect - like I'm saying the words, but I'm not really sure that God can hear me, because I often find it difficult to reconcile the God in the readings of the Old and the New Testament with the God in my life today. However, there is one week each year when that all changes, and that time is upon us once again.

Holy Week.

To be honest, at the beginning of Holy Week each year, my first thought is usually something along the lines of, "Fantastic. 6-10 hours of church in a four day span. I really don't wanna do this." But then it's Holy Thursday and we're washing each other's feet and celebrating the Last Supper and sitting vigil with the Eucharist and somehow, it all becomes real; that we're remembering Jesus' last night on this earth, and the terror and sadness he must have felt over what was to come. Then comes Good Friday, when he is nailed to the cross. At my church, they actually hammer nails into a cross during the reading of the Gospel and with each blow of the hammer the sound of Jesus' sacrifice for us echoes in my chest and shakes loose a year's worth of pain, and anger, and sadness, and frustration, because really, in the face of something so big, what good does holding on to any of that do? Then comes the Easter Vigil, started in candlelit darkness until He is Risen, and we sing Alleluia and praise Him for His sacrifice and His miracle. And all of this, every single moment of this week, is an emotional journey equivalent to a thousand steps across a desert that leaves me exhausted and yet, paradoxically, more refreshed and secure in His love than ever.

Maybe you're rolling your eyes right now, or preparing a diatribe regarding how ridiculous it is that I believe these things, and that's okay. I can see the argument for evolution, and maybe the Bible didn't get everything right; maybe, even, the stories in the Bible are more figurative than literal. I'm not here to convert you to Catholicism, or any religion for that matter, and I will never be a so-called 'Bible Thumper'. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, or lack thereof. And the leaders of our church may not be perfect, but they are only human, and they are trying. Still, I am thankful every day to my parents for raising me in the church, and for giving me the option of choosing to believe in something that is greater than me, or you, or anything on this earth or even in this universe, because it gives me hope. We were only given this one life, and what a sacrifice it took for God to give it. Every year, every day, ever hour, every second, is a gift, and it's a gift that I've too often taken for granted. I love this time of year, because it reminds me to be joyful, and to remember that I was created in His image, and that I am loved, and that I am never, ever alone.

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."

And at the end of the day, I think that's something worth being grateful for.

Happy Easter, everyone.