Body Paint, Booty Pop and Toaster Strudels

Have you ever noticed just how many random things that Walgreens sells? I mean, have you ever really stopped to look around and take it all in? Seriously. It's crazy. I went in there for shampoo and conditioner today and when I turned the corner towards the checkout, I saw this:

This item is available in-store only.

 

What. The. Fuck. When did Walgreens turn in to a porn store? Although I must say that, as a marketing professional, I was very impressed by the marketing on the box; the line 'sensuous body paint with supple brush for creative romance' really got me thinking about just what sort of 'creative romance' I could, well... create... but I digress. After putting the item in my basket placing the item back on the shelf, I remembered that I needed to pick up some black nail polish, so I headed back into Cosmetics, and on my way I ran into this little gem.

 

Booty Pop; The Panties that make your booty POP!

 

I mean, legit, I was tempted to buy them just to see if they really worked, because who wouldn't want their ass to look like that in jeans? But take a step back for a second and ask yourself... who is going to wake up one morning and go, "You know what? Imma go get me some of that Booty Pop. I bet Walgreens sells 'em." Well, when that day happens, that person can rest assured that Walgreens DOES, in fact, sell them... right next to the pastel-colored granny panties.

 

Also, for the record, I hate the word 'panties'. Every time I write that word, I physically cringe and die a little bit inside.

 

PANTIES.

 

Oh God. I just threw up in my mouth.

 

Anyway.

 

I really wanted to spend more time looking around and seeing what other treasures I could find, but then I remembered that I pretend to be a responsible adult with a job during the day, and I had to be back at the office for a one o'clock. So, $32 and two hours later, here we are. And since Carrie is yelling at me to post this blog entry to alleviate her boredom, this is where we're going to end. Enjoy your Grey's Anatomy and/or Ladies Nights tonight... it's raining, so I'll be curled up on the couch in fleece pajama pants and a snarky t-shirt, watching Prometheus and throwing furtive glances at the freezer. Let's all say a prayer that those toaster strudels make it through the night.